Is it possible to be friends with a person that you have had a strong romantic interest in or a person that you had a relationship with? I've been forced to wonder about this a lot lately. I don't know if I can do it.
For me, there are so many mixed up emotions and blurred lines that shouldn't be crossed that it's a pretty difficult scenario. I want to remain friends, but I don't know if I can handle it and retain what's left of my sanity.
In my experience, I find that my expectations never quite seem to match up with her expectations. I mean, the obvious solution is that the boundaries of the friendship are determined by intersection of the sets of expectations (sadly, math terminology is the most clear to me in describing this). However, that means that neither person's expectations will ever be fulfilled.
This is a pretty painful prospect for two people who once shared something far more. The only real question is if it's more painful to not be friends or to be friends.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
Sarah McLachlan + John Lennon
This has been my favorite Christmas song since last Christmas when it was released: Sarah McLachlan - Happy Xmas
I'm a big fan of both Sarah McLachlan and The Beatles, so any time they're combined, I'm kind of a sucker for the result. Also, the similar context of the time when the song was written and the current time of war just makes the song so fitting.
I'm a big fan of both Sarah McLachlan and The Beatles, so any time they're combined, I'm kind of a sucker for the result. Also, the similar context of the time when the song was written and the current time of war just makes the song so fitting.
Holiday Blues
The holiday season always gets me down a little bit. This time of year for me is mostly about family and my family still feels broken ever since my sister's death. I don't know if it's possible for anyone to ever recover from something like that, but I know I still haven't.
I'm a relatively boring person. Around the holidays, usually, my sister would be the more interesting person. She'd have ideas for christmasy stuff to do and that sort of thing. She was always kind of the complementary element to my personality, since I typically prefer not doing much at all for the holidays. In her absence, the holidays feel uninspired for me. I'd even go as far as to say they feel hollow. I can't not think about her around this time of year, and that of course drags down my spirits.
I have to keep reminding myself that she would want us to be happy, so if nothing else, we should be happy for her sake. It's hard, sometimes, though.
I'm a relatively boring person. Around the holidays, usually, my sister would be the more interesting person. She'd have ideas for christmasy stuff to do and that sort of thing. She was always kind of the complementary element to my personality, since I typically prefer not doing much at all for the holidays. In her absence, the holidays feel uninspired for me. I'd even go as far as to say they feel hollow. I can't not think about her around this time of year, and that of course drags down my spirits.
I have to keep reminding myself that she would want us to be happy, so if nothing else, we should be happy for her sake. It's hard, sometimes, though.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Media Player Boosts WOW Performance?
Quick side note to anybody out there who plays World of Warcraft: I haven't confirmed this myself, but this article suggests running Windows Media Player in the background boosts performance of World of Warcraft.
I honestly can't see those huge gains happening on my computer since my loading times aren't even 15 seconds to begin with, but hey, it just might work for you.
I honestly can't see those huge gains happening on my computer since my loading times aren't even 15 seconds to begin with, but hey, it just might work for you.
I Miss My (Roommate's) Kitty
My roommate went home to see her mom for Christmas. She took her cat with her so that I wouldn't have to take care of her cat for her while she was gone. Not to say that I don't miss my roommate, but I miss her cat a lot too.
Recently, her cat started sleeping on my lap while I was on the computer. I even have scratches on my legs from when she suddenly decided to jump off on several occasions to prove it. There's just something so nice about having a cat happily on my lap while I do whatever I'm doing. In general, the cat would just come around periodically to see what I was up to and cause some trouble when she wanted attention. Sure, she was sometimes a little bit of a nuisance (like when I'm trying to fold my laundry but she wants to bury herself in my warm clothes), but at the end of the day, I really like having a cat around the house.
I'm going to be even more sad when my roommate finishes her degree and moves back home. I really want to adopt a cat of my own at some point now. I think I've proven that my allergy to cats has diminished enough that I can handle it. =)
Recently, her cat started sleeping on my lap while I was on the computer. I even have scratches on my legs from when she suddenly decided to jump off on several occasions to prove it. There's just something so nice about having a cat happily on my lap while I do whatever I'm doing. In general, the cat would just come around periodically to see what I was up to and cause some trouble when she wanted attention. Sure, she was sometimes a little bit of a nuisance (like when I'm trying to fold my laundry but she wants to bury herself in my warm clothes), but at the end of the day, I really like having a cat around the house.
I'm going to be even more sad when my roommate finishes her degree and moves back home. I really want to adopt a cat of my own at some point now. I think I've proven that my allergy to cats has diminished enough that I can handle it. =)
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Leadership Skills
It's funny, playing arena in World of Warcraft has made me realize how rare it is that people are able to be good leaders. On my warlock's team, I'm the leader, so we have a reasonably good leader. Consequently that team has been fairly successful consistently.
On my priest's team, we continually have problems with coordination because I cannot lead the offense as a priest whose main job is kiting and defensive type stuff. Our main warrior is an awesome guy, but he's of the simple "tell me what to kill and I'll kill it" mindset. Our warlock is trying to step up into a leadership type role, but he honestly lacks the tactical knowledge to make the right calls and quickly. One of our two mages is also very quiet and not confident enough to call plays. Our other mage would be fairly capable to calling plays, but he's not always in the game and he is not the sort who volunteers to do it. When he does it, though, he does a fairly good job. We really need someone on the team to assume the role of leader of the offense.
Being a good leader is not easy. You need to have the confidence and knowledge to quickly call plays that will determine your team's fate. It's not easy to accept the responsibility that a lot of times when you lose, it's your fault for calling the wrong play. You have to have the patience to teach your team what you want them to do better when things go wrong. You have to also have the desire to win so you can inspire your team to keep pushing just a little farther than they thought they were capable of. You have to be able to adapt on the fly as situations arise but you have to still never lose sight of the overall strategy. You need to have the patience to manage the team members and the organization to track people's schedules.
Honestly, when we started my warlock's team, I didn't think we'd be capable of getting much more than an 1850 rating by the end of the season. However, we've come quite far since then, even finishing last week as the number 1 team on my server and 80th overall in the battlegroup.
On my priest's team, we continually have problems with coordination because I cannot lead the offense as a priest whose main job is kiting and defensive type stuff. Our main warrior is an awesome guy, but he's of the simple "tell me what to kill and I'll kill it" mindset. Our warlock is trying to step up into a leadership type role, but he honestly lacks the tactical knowledge to make the right calls and quickly. One of our two mages is also very quiet and not confident enough to call plays. Our other mage would be fairly capable to calling plays, but he's not always in the game and he is not the sort who volunteers to do it. When he does it, though, he does a fairly good job. We really need someone on the team to assume the role of leader of the offense.
Being a good leader is not easy. You need to have the confidence and knowledge to quickly call plays that will determine your team's fate. It's not easy to accept the responsibility that a lot of times when you lose, it's your fault for calling the wrong play. You have to have the patience to teach your team what you want them to do better when things go wrong. You have to also have the desire to win so you can inspire your team to keep pushing just a little farther than they thought they were capable of. You have to be able to adapt on the fly as situations arise but you have to still never lose sight of the overall strategy. You need to have the patience to manage the team members and the organization to track people's schedules.
Honestly, when we started my warlock's team, I didn't think we'd be capable of getting much more than an 1850 rating by the end of the season. However, we've come quite far since then, even finishing last week as the number 1 team on my server and 80th overall in the battlegroup.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Wasabi
I was recently curious about wasabi, that spicy green paste you get with sushi in Japanese restaurants in case you didn't know, so I snooped around a bit a stumbled into this article on wasabi. I had no idea that real wasabi was extraordinarily rare and expensive and that the vast majority of restaurants use a mixture of horseradish and green dye in its place. I mean horseradish and wasabi are closely related, but it was a tad disappointing to find out that I've probably never had real wasabi.
Real wasabi, apparently, only grows under very rare circumstances, namely they need to grow with clean, flowing water with a particular mineral balance. There are only a handful of places that naturally have the right conditions, but people grow wasabi with hydroponics now. I think I should make it a quest to find some place where I can try real wasabi. =)
Real wasabi, apparently, only grows under very rare circumstances, namely they need to grow with clean, flowing water with a particular mineral balance. There are only a handful of places that naturally have the right conditions, but people grow wasabi with hydroponics now. I think I should make it a quest to find some place where I can try real wasabi. =)
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